is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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