McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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