that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
