I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The ass gains better be worth it
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