I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize