My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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