is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
