I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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