How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
