you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
