I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
