just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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