I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
