Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
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