She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
