If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
