just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
well you can't waste a boner
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
