Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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