i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize