I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
