I hate all girls vehemently.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
