You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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