people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
