I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
