look no pants
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just want nice things and good sex
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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