just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
