Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
