real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
