That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
it was like eating out sand paper
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
