So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
