big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize