A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
