Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
