walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
