I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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