i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
