Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
