We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
