I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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