This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize