ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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