I want to stick my p in your. b.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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