we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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