My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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