I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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