you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
