why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
