I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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