I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
