It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
