speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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