Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
COCAINE IS GR8
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
