Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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