kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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