Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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