Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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