dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
