Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
